The other day i recommended watching the movie, "A few good men" to my roommate. Little did i know, that it would have such impact on him. Now he recites Jack Nicholson's climax dialogue even while he is asleep! For those who haven't seen the movie, this is the scene that am talking about.
Its one of the best Jack Nicholson performances i ve ever seen. I don't think anybody could have portrayed the ego of a person who takes this amount of pride in what he does, better than him.
Coming back to my roommate, this thing happened the other day, while we were returning home after having our breakfast and he was repeating the Col. Jessep's lines for nth time(it was just 9:30 in the morning and he had already recited it enough times to make me think its logical not to count it), i thought that some where those lines had got embedded deep in his unconscious mind. And given a similar situation, the dialogues would flow of him even without his knowledge.
But he or rather we, cannot be working in a more different situation than Col. Jessup. We are all software engineers! We cannot possible encounter such a situation ....a situation where these lines would flow spontaneously of him.
And then i thought about the quality guys in my company!
Now read below:
SCENE 1
************************************************************************************
Characters: Software engineer(SE) and Service Delivery Manager(SDM)
Scenario: Conversation between a SDM and a developer(SE). Software engineer is accused of missing the deadlines by SDM
Location : Conference room 1
************************************************************************************
SDM: Any chance that you were not aware of the deadlines?
Software Engineer: Not aware of the deadlines?
SDM: Any chance that your colleagues ignored deadlines?
Software engineer: No
SDM: Any chance that you ignored the deadlines?
Software Engineer: Have you ever worked in prodouction support?
SDM: No
Software Engineer: Have you ever solved a Severity 1 issue?
SDM: No
Software engineer : Have you ever tested another man's code, asked him to test yours??
SDM: No
Software engineer: We follow deadlines son,
we follow deadline, or managers get screwed! Its that simple. Are we clear??
SDM: Yes sir
Software engineer: ARE WE CLEAR
SDM: CRYSTAL!!
SCENE 2
************************************************************************************
Characters: Software engineer(SE) and Service Delivery Manager(SDM)
Scenario: Conversation between a SDM and a developer(SE). Software engineer is questioned for NC(non compliance) in the quarterly quality report
Location : Conference room 1
************************************************************************************
Software engineer: You want answers??
SDM :I Think am entitled to
Developer: You want answers??
SDM: I want the truth!
Software engineer :
"YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!
Son, we live in a world thats run by softwares. And those softwares have to be developed and maintained by men with brains. Who's gonna do it? You? You, QA in charge?
I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for a non compliance and you curse the developers. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that this NC, while tragic, probably saved time. And my logic, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves time...
You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at team meetings, you want me to write that code. You need me to write that code.
We use words like process compliance,peer review,customer-satisfaction...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent developing something. You use 'em as a punchline.
I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very code I write, then questions the process compliance of my code! :-)
I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a workstation and write your own code. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!"
:-) :-) :-)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
How to make a good Blog curry
Welcome to phalana ttikaaana.
Today we will see how to make a good blog curry. Blog curry is an extremly delicious easy to make curry with lots of medicinal values and has known to cure diseases like boredom,loneliness,solitude,insomnia etc..
The ingredients to make this curry are
50 mg Ideas(Original)
10 mg common sense
10 mg English grammar
250 mg humor
Finely ground sarcasm according to taste.
Fry your ideas till they become golden brown.If you don't get any original fresh ideas, borrow it from other blogs!(Now a days Plagiarism is seen more as a virtue than an offense) Add chopped common sense to it and stir continuously till they become a homogenous mixture. Add a mix of nicely dried humor and melted sarcasm to it and allow it to boil till it becomes thick. Finally garnish with some good English grammar and allow it to settle.
Aur swaaadishhtt blog curry taiyaaaar! Best when served hot.
IF YOU THINK THAT THIS IS THE MOST STUPID DISGUSTING AND OBNOXIOUS BLOG YOU EVER CAME ACROSS,WATCH THIS:
JUST TO PROVE THAT THERE ARE THINGS IN THIS WORLD THAT ARE WORSE THAN THE BLOG U JUST READ :-)
And the mallus, watch this as well:
Today we will see how to make a good blog curry. Blog curry is an extremly delicious easy to make curry with lots of medicinal values and has known to cure diseases like boredom,loneliness,solitude,insomnia etc..
The ingredients to make this curry are
50 mg Ideas(Original)
10 mg common sense
10 mg English grammar
250 mg humor
Finely ground sarcasm according to taste.
Fry your ideas till they become golden brown.If you don't get any original fresh ideas, borrow it from other blogs!(Now a days Plagiarism is seen more as a virtue than an offense) Add chopped common sense to it and stir continuously till they become a homogenous mixture. Add a mix of nicely dried humor and melted sarcasm to it and allow it to boil till it becomes thick. Finally garnish with some good English grammar and allow it to settle.
Aur swaaadishhtt blog curry taiyaaaar! Best when served hot.
IF YOU THINK THAT THIS IS THE MOST STUPID DISGUSTING AND OBNOXIOUS BLOG YOU EVER CAME ACROSS,WATCH THIS:
JUST TO PROVE THAT THERE ARE THINGS IN THIS WORLD THAT ARE WORSE THAN THE BLOG U JUST READ :-)
And the mallus, watch this as well:
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Food for thought!!
Why in most of the love stories mother agrees and father disagrees??
Because mother knows what is love.......and father knows what life is!!
Because mother knows what is love.......and father knows what life is!!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
A white paper on best practises of boozing!!
This blog is a result of 'kadi tapasya' done by me and my friends over a period of 6 years. This has been tested in bars from Kothamangalam to Amsterdam(Jaggu..hope you are reading this) and on brands ranging from 'Jawan' which cost 120 per liter to Jack Daniel's ( i dont know the price, i never paid for it :-)).
Readers(if any) are welcome to put their own research theories and also contradict with us provided that they meet the basic criteria which is given below.
1.Must have the ability to drink at least 6 pegs without puking.
2.Should have experience in this field for minimum five years without a gap of not more than 2 months.
So anyone who matches the above two criteria is all welcome to put up his hypothesis on this blog.
GOLDEN RULES OF BOOZING:
1.Never booze when upset. Booze only to celebrate.
2.Boozing is never addictive. So don't even try!!(to get addicted)
*. Never booze alone.
3.Call up your GF after the third peg. Tell her how much you love her and how nothing else matters to you other than her. When you ve had your third peg, you have this strange ability to speak as if there is no more blood flowing in your veins but alcohol and yet manage to be in control of what you speak.Girls are more often than not fool enough to believe that when a guy drinks, he speaks nothing but truth. Exploit this to the maximum!!
CAUTION:
Never call your GF after the 6th peg. Who knows you might just start speaking the truth!!!
4.Booze slowly and steadily. Booze to be on the high and not to tumble down and puke all over. If you just wanna sleep, try sleeping pills instead!
5.Never go by the society rules of taking sips. If you feel uncomfortable with the taste, gulp it down immediately. After all, the whole purpose is to get the kick! If its the taste that you are looking for, try ice cream!
6.Dip your finger in the spiciest of pickle, rub it on your tongue and exhale as soon as the liquor traces its way down your throat. Helps to overcome jerk which might be a result of resistance offered by your body. This may not be correct scientifically, test it your own risk.
This is applicable only if you are not a seasoned drinker!! For a seasoned drinker, there is no jerk in the first place!
7.Now this one is scientific .Drink a lot of water! Alcohol has a dehydrating effect on your body. So compensate for the lost water by drinking more(water of course!!)
8.Your liver generates in every 6 months(My friend says so and generally he is right!). So no matter how much u drink, you can always take break and start again!
To be continued......
Readers(if any) are welcome to put their own research theories and also contradict with us provided that they meet the basic criteria which is given below.
1.Must have the ability to drink at least 6 pegs without puking.
2.Should have experience in this field for minimum five years without a gap of not more than 2 months.
So anyone who matches the above two criteria is all welcome to put up his hypothesis on this blog.
GOLDEN RULES OF BOOZING:
1.Never booze when upset. Booze only to celebrate.
2.Boozing is never addictive. So don't even try!!(to get addicted)
*. Never booze alone.
3.Call up your GF after the third peg. Tell her how much you love her and how nothing else matters to you other than her. When you ve had your third peg, you have this strange ability to speak as if there is no more blood flowing in your veins but alcohol and yet manage to be in control of what you speak.Girls are more often than not fool enough to believe that when a guy drinks, he speaks nothing but truth. Exploit this to the maximum!!
CAUTION:
Never call your GF after the 6th peg. Who knows you might just start speaking the truth!!!
4.Booze slowly and steadily. Booze to be on the high and not to tumble down and puke all over. If you just wanna sleep, try sleeping pills instead!
5.Never go by the society rules of taking sips. If you feel uncomfortable with the taste, gulp it down immediately. After all, the whole purpose is to get the kick! If its the taste that you are looking for, try ice cream!
6.Dip your finger in the spiciest of pickle, rub it on your tongue and exhale as soon as the liquor traces its way down your throat. Helps to overcome jerk which might be a result of resistance offered by your body. This may not be correct scientifically, test it your own risk.
This is applicable only if you are not a seasoned drinker!! For a seasoned drinker, there is no jerk in the first place!
7.Now this one is scientific .Drink a lot of water! Alcohol has a dehydrating effect on your body. So compensate for the lost water by drinking more(water of course!!)
8.Your liver generates in every 6 months(My friend says so and generally he is right!). So no matter how much u drink, you can always take break and start again!
To be continued......
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Where is the passion??
Starting something of my own has always been a dream for me. And when you have a dream that you see with your eyes open everyday, your mind unconsciously works towards achieving it. At least i believe so.
I understand the risks involved in leaving a high paying job in one of the biggest IT companies to start-up your own business especially when you are just a 'toddler' in the industry with no previous experience in business. But then, that's how everything started. Those who succeeded were not exceptionally great men. They were also once like us who just believed in their dream.
Yet, there are so many people around who are convinced that i can never make it big. Why, because i am just 2 yrs old in the field. Because i will not get clients. Because i don't have initial investment. The list is unending.
But then without all this, so many companies started, and some of them managed to become "the changing face of India" and their leaders, "New gen enterprenurs".
"You will not understand the benefits of being in a job. You will understand it later" said a very matured friend of mine. Yeah i wouldn't understand. I can sit in this company and have people who i know are not half as capable as me, deliver me lectures on the process i should follow here. I really don't understand it, please help me understand.
"There are so many advantages of being salaried professional". I am sure there are! But they don't interest me. Ships would never drown if they stay in the harbor, but is that why ships are made for?
"Hey N, look Anoop is going to start a business. Why don't you invest some money?" V called out sarcastically to N
"What am i mad or what? Business...hhmmm. The guy is out of his minds. Dont worry he will be alright as he begins to understand the world"
Its always easy to take the easier path. The path that has been traversed by so many people before you and and will be traversed by so many after you. Does that excite you. Not me. I read somewhere that a very famous university conducted a study on two groups of people. One who wanted to make money, another who pursued what interested them. And they found that 20 years later, it was the latter who were richer than the former.
Its not about money. Its about doing what i feel like doing. Its about driving your own show. Its about eliminating all that i think is just a waste of time and resources and putting a better and more efficient working model.
A is a nice guy and happens to be my roommate. A is what you call a satisfied person,contented in all sense. His daily routines revolves around three 'S'. Sleeping, sex and shitting! He spends as much time in lavatory as he spends in his bed. And when he is not sleeping or shitting, he is thinking about sex. So much, that if mind-raping had been a punishable offense, he would have been awarded death sentences each day since he attained puberty.
Just before i started writing this blog, i had a big argument with him. As he got up from his 16 hour long sleep, i advised him to get up and do something with his life. He said he is thinking about it. He said he doesn't feel passionate anymore about anything. He blames it on his failed love. Nothing irritates me more! He said how he was passionate back then and since she left her, he lost interest in life. With this he walked to lavatory to experience what he says is a divine pleasure. One and half hours later he emerged with a satisfying look on his face. This was probably 5th or 6th time he had been to "London"(that's his code word for lavatory).
Then he advised me like a grand old man "There is more in life than this work"
Yeah i see that.He had kept the door of the bathroom open,just in case he wanna go back in, he need not take extra effort to open it!
"For you, starting your own business is a passion. But what after that. While you die, you cant take anything with u rite?"
"What nonsense" I was in no mood to give up. "At least i will not regret that i didn't do what i wanted to. Its not what you take with you while you die, its how you have been living your life till then. Life's is a journey and death is the destination. If i pursue my passion, i will enjoy my journey and embrace my destination without any regrets". I was rather surprised by own philosophical spontaneity. Lately i have become quite a philosopher. J would agree!
"That is your view point,Anoop. Just like you enjoy dreaming about the unachievable(sucker!! i wanna give a punch rite on his nose), i enjoy my sleep. I enjoy my food. Ultimately what matters is whether we are happy or not. Living my life like this gives me happiness." He has a point there and i cannot deny that!Though i simply cannot believe that anybody can be happy by living a life like that.
As i pen this,i don't know if he is really happy or he said that just to win the argument(he is in lavatory,anyways) but i am not happy. Am not at all satisfied. I cannot spend my whole life like this. I want to do what i love to do and not just "work".
And with a belief that someday i will be able to prove all these people wrong, i conclude.
PS: A is not as bad as he would seem in this post. He is a real nice person,rather a gem of a person.Just that, he is one big lazy bum and is suffering from never ending stomach disorder.
I understand the risks involved in leaving a high paying job in one of the biggest IT companies to start-up your own business especially when you are just a 'toddler' in the industry with no previous experience in business. But then, that's how everything started. Those who succeeded were not exceptionally great men. They were also once like us who just believed in their dream.
Yet, there are so many people around who are convinced that i can never make it big. Why, because i am just 2 yrs old in the field. Because i will not get clients. Because i don't have initial investment. The list is unending.
But then without all this, so many companies started, and some of them managed to become "the changing face of India" and their leaders, "New gen enterprenurs".
"You will not understand the benefits of being in a job. You will understand it later" said a very matured friend of mine. Yeah i wouldn't understand. I can sit in this company and have people who i know are not half as capable as me, deliver me lectures on the process i should follow here. I really don't understand it, please help me understand.
"There are so many advantages of being salaried professional". I am sure there are! But they don't interest me. Ships would never drown if they stay in the harbor, but is that why ships are made for?
"Hey N, look Anoop is going to start a business. Why don't you invest some money?" V called out sarcastically to N
"What am i mad or what? Business...hhmmm. The guy is out of his minds. Dont worry he will be alright as he begins to understand the world"
Its always easy to take the easier path. The path that has been traversed by so many people before you and and will be traversed by so many after you. Does that excite you. Not me. I read somewhere that a very famous university conducted a study on two groups of people. One who wanted to make money, another who pursued what interested them. And they found that 20 years later, it was the latter who were richer than the former.
Its not about money. Its about doing what i feel like doing. Its about driving your own show. Its about eliminating all that i think is just a waste of time and resources and putting a better and more efficient working model.
A is a nice guy and happens to be my roommate. A is what you call a satisfied person,contented in all sense. His daily routines revolves around three 'S'. Sleeping, sex and shitting! He spends as much time in lavatory as he spends in his bed. And when he is not sleeping or shitting, he is thinking about sex. So much, that if mind-raping had been a punishable offense, he would have been awarded death sentences each day since he attained puberty.
Just before i started writing this blog, i had a big argument with him. As he got up from his 16 hour long sleep, i advised him to get up and do something with his life. He said he is thinking about it. He said he doesn't feel passionate anymore about anything. He blames it on his failed love. Nothing irritates me more! He said how he was passionate back then and since she left her, he lost interest in life. With this he walked to lavatory to experience what he says is a divine pleasure. One and half hours later he emerged with a satisfying look on his face. This was probably 5th or 6th time he had been to "London"(that's his code word for lavatory).
Then he advised me like a grand old man "There is more in life than this work"
Yeah i see that.He had kept the door of the bathroom open,just in case he wanna go back in, he need not take extra effort to open it!
"For you, starting your own business is a passion. But what after that. While you die, you cant take anything with u rite?"
"What nonsense" I was in no mood to give up. "At least i will not regret that i didn't do what i wanted to. Its not what you take with you while you die, its how you have been living your life till then. Life's is a journey and death is the destination. If i pursue my passion, i will enjoy my journey and embrace my destination without any regrets". I was rather surprised by own philosophical spontaneity. Lately i have become quite a philosopher. J would agree!
"That is your view point,Anoop. Just like you enjoy dreaming about the unachievable(sucker!! i wanna give a punch rite on his nose), i enjoy my sleep. I enjoy my food. Ultimately what matters is whether we are happy or not. Living my life like this gives me happiness." He has a point there and i cannot deny that!Though i simply cannot believe that anybody can be happy by living a life like that.
As i pen this,i don't know if he is really happy or he said that just to win the argument(he is in lavatory,anyways) but i am not happy. Am not at all satisfied. I cannot spend my whole life like this. I want to do what i love to do and not just "work".
And with a belief that someday i will be able to prove all these people wrong, i conclude.
PS: A is not as bad as he would seem in this post. He is a real nice person,rather a gem of a person.Just that, he is one big lazy bum and is suffering from never ending stomach disorder.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Nostalgic Videos!!
As i was youtubing around, i found this video. This was one of those good old NFDC presentation which would keep me glued to TV sets back when i was studying in primary school.
Now this led me to do a bit more youtubing in search of similar nostalgic videos. And then i found this one. I remember not missing a single episode of this 'MOGLI'.
More searching and i came across some of the good old ads. One of them is the "Hamara Bajaj" campaign. I remember back then most of Bajaj scooters would have "You just cant beat a Bajaj" caption on their Stephenie cover.As a kid, i used to stand in the space between the driver's seat and the handle with a lot of pride!
And the Lifebuoy ad: "Tandooristhi ki raksha kare Lifebuoy, Lifebuoy hai jahaan, Tandooristhi hain wahan"
And finally how can any Indian not have seen this video. The remake of this video by a popular production house was as disgusting it can get.In fact,to say it was disgusting would be a understatement. I didn't see a single word of praise from any one over the cyberspace for the newer version except the makers themselves and the actors in the video who claimed it be historical.Reminds me of sprite ad caption "logon ko paisa do, kuch bhi bol daalte hain"!
And now the remake version of this. This video seemed to me more than about achiever's kids than acheiver's themselves.The most disgusting part is when the song is retuned on the notes "aati kya khandal" for Aamir's screen presence.For me that was the lowest point. But then there are plenty of blunders in the video for every one to have a pick of their own. Shirtless Sallu, Deepika in minies...i wonder how they missed out Rakhi Sawant!
Now this led me to do a bit more youtubing in search of similar nostalgic videos. And then i found this one. I remember not missing a single episode of this 'MOGLI'.
More searching and i came across some of the good old ads. One of them is the "Hamara Bajaj" campaign. I remember back then most of Bajaj scooters would have "You just cant beat a Bajaj" caption on their Stephenie cover.As a kid, i used to stand in the space between the driver's seat and the handle with a lot of pride!
And the Lifebuoy ad: "Tandooristhi ki raksha kare Lifebuoy, Lifebuoy hai jahaan, Tandooristhi hain wahan"
And finally how can any Indian not have seen this video. The remake of this video by a popular production house was as disgusting it can get.In fact,to say it was disgusting would be a understatement. I didn't see a single word of praise from any one over the cyberspace for the newer version except the makers themselves and the actors in the video who claimed it be historical.Reminds me of sprite ad caption "logon ko paisa do, kuch bhi bol daalte hain"!
And now the remake version of this. This video seemed to me more than about achiever's kids than acheiver's themselves.The most disgusting part is when the song is retuned on the notes "aati kya khandal" for Aamir's screen presence.For me that was the lowest point. But then there are plenty of blunders in the video for every one to have a pick of their own. Shirtless Sallu, Deepika in minies...i wonder how they missed out Rakhi Sawant!
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